Freecycle Etiquette: A True Story and a Cautionary Tale (and an annoying line break.)

I read through a few of my blog posts and realize that some of you might think that I am nice, and sappy. I offer this post in contradiction. Insert [sic] where necessary.

This one's for you Lizzy, 'cause Debbie's not good at clicking either.

Debbie and I belong to the same Freecycle List and exchange witticisms and clever wordplay on a variety of subjects, freecycle being the recent favorite. While many of the goods offered through freecycle are decent, usable, sometimes even valuable, there are the items whose owners don’t recognize are too tired to go any further than the trash. I bring you Suzi (not her real name) and her treasures of such dubious value that even the most rigorous of recyclers may flinch.

Suzi to Freecycle:
Offer:
2 Crazy Straws
2 Standard Pillowcases
Baseball Hat Cleaner

Suzi to Freecycle:
Offer:
3 Chloraseptic Sore Throat Relief Strips
4 Raspberry Drink Mix Packages (Just add hot or cold water)
(32 Minerals and Vitamin C) (A Dietary supplement)
Finger Nail Polish Remover
Sponge for Body Wash (Never used)
Toothpaste (Some used.) Didn't like the flavor.
I want it gone ASAP

Debbie to Me:
Come on!! D

Me to Debbie:
Thank God someone has offered this. My polish is chipping badly and Lord Knows I can't spend the 69¢ for a bottle. Gas up the car, we're goin' to Nashua!
Suzi, get a grip!
(Sure you don't want any empty margarine containers? Just slightly used...)

Debbie to Me:
Run--don't walk!
She also offered three strips of some cough-related thing, I think.
Interested? Three f-ing strips.
The height of bad taste, I know, making fun of freecycle. Can't help myself.

Me to Debbie:
HAH!
I think we need to start a compilation of the *interesting* things people think other people want. Again, there's a thesis in there somewhere...

Suzi to Freecycle:
Offer:
4 Folders
Want everything gone ASAP or it will go to Goodwill.

Me to Debbie:
OK, now Suzi's getting to the MEAT of her stash. Stay tuned...

Suzi to Freecycle:
Offer:
Reference Book 2 Volumes A-Z (Brand new) (I want it to go to a real good home)(I paid alot of them)
Electic Bands for stretching
5 Folders some used some never used must take all.

Uh-oh. Here's where Debbie’s aim goes awry. She hits the "reply" button instead of “forward” and sends these e-mails, intended for me, to Suzi.

Debbie to Suzi:
"FOUR FOLDERS...WANT EVERYTHING GONE ASAP OR IT WILL GO TO GOODWILL"
Threats now.

Suzi to Freecycle:
Offer:
5 Folders some used some never used must take all.

Debbie to Suzi:
Must be spring cleaning...in the fall. I love this: "Reference Book 2 Volumes A-Z (Brand new) (I want it to go to a real good home)(I paid alot of them)"
Whoa--more folders. Some used, some not: must take all. Is this a fucking joke?

Debbie to Suzi:
Still going--you were right. She is really getting down now. Stretchy band?

This is when Debbie calls me laughing hysterically which I take for crying and panic. With the laughing and the two feet in her mouth it is hard to understand what she is saying.

So, two questions: Should Debbie apologize to Suzi; and do you think that the 32 Minerals and Vitamin C is *per packet*, or is it 8 Minerals and Vitamin C per packet, times the four packets?